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In ri dating

 

Old08-09-2009, 04:57 PM
 

7 posts, read 34,472 times

Reputation: 14

Hi all,

I was wondering if you could give me some advice. What is the dating scene like in Rhode Island and Providence in particular? Do you have much interracial dating there and is it frowned upon or no big deal?

I am black and I tend to like Latino men, but I don't exclude anyone who is a nice person regardless of what race they are.

Thanks to all who repsond!
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Old08-10-2009, 08:43 AM
 

Location: Rhode Island (Splash!)

1,150 posts, read 2,512,454 times

Reputation: 444

Well I'm not quite the Casanova you might need to answer your question properly, but I doubt the dating in RI is very much different from anywhere else in the US.

As for the interracial thing, no one anywhere close to or in Providence would even notice. Elsewhere people might give you a second glance, but they wouldn't say anything bad or treat you like a second class citizen, etc.

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Old08-10-2009, 11:35 AM
 

Location: Sharon, MA

368 posts, read 1,295,442 times

Reputation: 201

I hear tell from my single girlfriends that the dating scene sucks. I'm not in the market myself, and only moved here from Texas at the beginning of the year, so I don't have any personal experience. However I have noticed, anecdotally, that rather average looking men end up with fairly hot girls. I'm told this is due to a dire shortage of successful, eligible men. However, I'm told this phenomenon exists across the northeast. (Not so in the South, lemme tell ya...)

Speaking from the point of eye-candy (in which I do have first person experience), I can assure you that much of the caucasion/latino male population here is at most so-so. Although, oddly, there seems to be a significant number of police officers in Providence and south-east Massachusetts that are hot enough to make a girl say 'dayum!'.


Last edited by AandD; 08-10-2009 at 12:02 PM..

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Old08-10-2009, 05:17 PM
 

7 posts, read 34,472 times

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Thanks so much for the info!

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Old08-11-2009, 01:09 PM
 

Location: East Boston, MA

10,230 posts, read 18,343,841 times

Reputation: 11907

Quote:

Originally Posted by AandDView Post

I hear tell from my single girlfriends that the dating scene sucks. I'm not in the market myself, and only moved here from Texas at the beginning of the year, so I don't have any personal experience. However I have noticed, anecdotally, that rather average looking men end up with fairly hot girls. I'm told this is due to a dire shortage of successful, eligible men. However, I'm told this phenomenon exists across the northeast. (Not so in the South, lemme tell ya...)

Speaking from the point of eye-candy (in which I do have first person experience), I can assure you that much of the caucasion/latino male population here is at most so-so. Although, oddly, there seems to be a significant number of police officers in Providence and south-east Massachusetts that are hot enough to make a girl say 'dayum!'.

Hahaha. Awesome post.

From a male perspective, the dating scene is difficult at best.

While you won't find people who have issues with interracial dating, you'll likely face other problems.

One of the biggest issues is that New England can be pretty provincial and Rhode Island in particular has a serious reputation for this. This not only makes dating difficult, but making friends in general difficult. It's hard to crack social circles. If you date outside your "circle" it can often times be frowned upon (I know MANY who have lost friends over this) and if you're looking to crack someone else's circle (i.e. make friend's with your boyfriend's friends), well, good luck.

Then there's the issue of finding the right person. Providence has an intersting blend of college students, retirees, uneducated/skilled workers, unemployed, and a pocket of professionals (many of whom have longstanding ties to the area and existing social circles). It's not really a very transient place (aside from college students and grads... many of whom aren't interested in dating more than casually) and as such, the dating scene can become, well, stagnant. When I'm single, I tend to meet most girls through friends. In fact, I've never had a relationship with someone I meet at a bar or evening out last longer than... well... breakfast time the next day (if I'm "lucky"), and that's not because I say I'm "going to call" and never do. It's usually because that's the way they want to keep it as well. I know I'm not alone in that. Trying to approach the dating scene head on (without the help of E-dating) is hard to do. The bar/clubs scene (which really is fun in Providence) is for hook-ups and friends nights out really and not so much for finding potential partners. I know many relatively attractive people who have been given a hard time for trying to get/give a number or set up a future meet-up. New England in general is not the best place for meeting new people. New Englanders are generally tough nuts to crack and Providence is no different (though it's better than cities like, say, Portland ME, Manchester, Fall River/NB, Springfield, Lowell, etc).

I love Providence for a number of reasons. It's wonderfully sophisticated for a small city and it has a lot of charm. However, it's not a place that I would choose to be single. If you want a good dating pool in New England, then Boston is really the best (probably only) bet. Otherwise I would suggest looking elsewhere.


Last edited by lrfox; 08-11-2009 at 01:19 PM..

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Old08-11-2009, 02:17 PM
 

1,003 posts, read 2,481,091 times

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Quote:

Originally Posted by AandDView Post

I hear tell from my single girlfriends that the dating scene sucks. I'm not in the market myself, and only moved here from Texas at the beginning of the year, so I don't have any personal experience. However I have noticed, anecdotally, that rather average looking men end up with fairly hot girls. I'm told this is due to a dire shortage of successful, eligible men. However, I'm told this phenomenon exists across the northeast. (Not so in the South, lemme tell ya...)

Speaking from the point of eye-candy (in which I do have first person experience), I can assure you that much of the caucasion/latino male population here is at most so-so. Although, oddly, there seems to be a significant number of police officers in Providence and south-east Massachusetts that are hot enough to make a girl say 'dayum!'.

I think this poster is very picky, and truthfully, I've seen many hot guys with average, to so so (..um fat) girls. And when you consider the huge number of overweight women in the northeast that straight guys must contend with, they don't always have much of a choice, and unless they would rather go without, or wait till something better comes along. There are plenty of hot guys, and there are also a lot of gyms here that are full of guys with nice bodies. If you are attractive, with a nice personality, positive without an attitude, you'll have no trouble. We also have a lot of colleges, so if you're in your 20's or early 30's there's plenty to choose from.
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Old08-11-2009, 02:30 PM
 

Location: East Boston, MA

10,230 posts, read 18,343,841 times

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^Overweight in the Northeast? Where does that come from? I'll agree that my observations have been mixed about relative attractiveness of men v. women in couples (it tends to vary with income from what I've seen... ugly rich guy with hot wife and attractive blue-collar guy with pig/trash for girlfriend), but I think New England (particularly Southern New England) does well in terms of lack of obesity in both sexes.

New England has 3 states (Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut) in the top 5 LEAST obese states in the nation category while it has NONE in the top five MOST obese (they're mostly in the South).

This data is for 2009 and is according to the Trust for America's Health and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. You can read the whole article here.

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Old08-11-2009, 03:09 PM
 

Location: Southern New England

381 posts, read 1,273,614 times

Reputation: 261

Um, personally I think this poster is soliciting for something no longer available on CL.

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Old08-11-2009, 06:53 PM
 

Location: Sharon, MA

368 posts, read 1,295,442 times

Reputation: 201

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1979View Post

I think this poster is very picky, and truthfully, I've seen many hot guys with average, to so so (..um fat) girls. And when you consider the huge number of overweight women in the northeast that straight guys must contend with, they don't always have much of a choice, and unless they would rather go without, or wait till something better comes along. There are plenty of hot guys, and there are also a lot of gyms here that are full of guys with nice bodies. If you are attractive, with a nice personality, positive without an attitude, you'll have no trouble. We also have a lot of colleges, so if you're in your 20's or early 30's there's plenty to choose from.

I will admit to being a visual person. I work with 1000 people at a hospital, and there are 4 men I find reasonably attractive. Lots of attractive women, though. I'm also speaking to the mid/late 20's thru late 30's range.

The NE is the healthiest area of the US from all reports I've seen, but I'd welcome any evidence you have to the contrary.

Men in gyms, ESPECIALLY the men that look like they spend a lot of time in the gym, are rarely there to pick up chicks, and in my experience value their workouts too much to interrupt others. (I have competed in figure competitions, so I spent A LOT of time in the gym). Many male gym-goers actually find it rather gauche to hit on women in the gym.
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Rhode Island Dating Game - Dating in RI - Rhode Island Love

What I Learned from Dating in Newport: Two Survivors Tell All

You can't get away with lying to someone on a date in Newport County.

A Man's Perspective

By Iain Wilson 

I learned this a couple of years ago at a Newport restaurant, and it’s one of the realities of being a 33-year-old single guy in a town with a small dating pool, where everyone knows someone and most dates happen in bars you already spend a lot of time in.

I was on a date with a girl who was living and working in Newport. She asked me a simple question: How did I know our mutual friend?

It was a first date, so telling her I had casually slept with her friend seemed like a great way to torpedo what had otherwise been a nice evening.

So I fibbed and said we were just acquaintances.

Of course, because this is Newport (and, in a broader sense, Rhode Island), another mutual friend told my date the truth. My dinner date politely — and rightly — called me on it a few days later. I had squandered my chance, but learned an important lesson.

This story represents one of the unique challenges facing those looking for love in Newport County, where year-round residents quickly become locals and mutual friends between potential partners are a given.

To date in Newport County, you need to be confident, honest, and comfortable with yourself and your dating history. Can you handle your sweetie working with someone you dated a few years ago? Are you okay with the fact that you might see her ex-boyfriend around town?

I suppose these aren’t huge hurdles, but they are definitely something I’m mindful of as I’ve dated in Newport.

This isn’t to knock the scene here, because it’s probably the most fertile dating ground outside of Providence. Plus, when you feel like you have no game (or no chance) you can always lean on Newport County’s good food and natural beauty. I do this all of the time. Sure, my date may think I’m dull or pathetic, but she’ll still enjoy a stroll at Sachuest Point or Cliff Walk.

Life is good here, and I get the sense locals in their twenties, thirties and forties are happy and open to the idea of a relationship.

Being single in Newport is easy; meeting single people isn’t. Maybe I haven’t helped myself by swearing off dating apps. I have nothing against them. You no longer have to sit alone at a bar on Thames Street to meet someone. It is easier to pour a drink, sit on the couch, and swipe to meet hundreds of people without having to leave the house.

That’s cool, but leaving the house is the fun part. Do what I do: Get out there, get creative and get around people with similar interests — even if it means a little rejection along the way.

And when you do land that promising first date?

Just remember to tell the truth. ♥

A Woman's Perspective

Author’s name withheld by request

I am a 54-year-old female and have lived in Jamestown for 20 years. I was married for 19 years and have been divorced for two.

When I got divorced I knew I didn’t need a “break” or a time to “heal.” I was ready to meet my forever person, my real true love. I was actually excited, and still am. Before I go any further, let me state that I am pretty good-looking, fit, and have a successful career here in Newport. I have been planning weddings for over 20 years. I love what I do, and I like to think that I am great at it.

I love asking couples where they met. Interestingly, many have met online (although I haven’t heard anyone say, “We met on Tinder”). I cannot avoid forming an opinion about whether or not the union seems long-term. Sadly, I am spot on; I can smell a disaster a mile away. I wonder if that’s how my wedding planner felt?

When you are a divorced female, no one wants to get involved. Seemingly none of my friends had anyone to introduce me to. All of a sudden I realized that I was riding solo. There would be no setups, there would be no dinner invitations with an eligible man on the other side of the table. It was just me. Oh, I also have four kids. But they are all perfectly behaved, and the more the merrier, right?

On to the dating sites.

I knew about Match.com, so I tried that first. Then Bumble, and then Tinder (dear God …). Here is what happened:

Date #1.

We had a nice dinner, and then he said, “Hey, come to my boat. I mean it’s not big (16 feet), but it’s home. Me: “OMG really?” And no.

Date #2. 

Him: “Do you mind if we go Dutch?” (My eyes darted around looking for the candid camera.)

Me: “How about if I just pay?”

Date #3.

Him: “Oh, I USED to be a lawyer, but now I pass out peanuts (his words). I’m a flight attendant.”

Me: Okay … .

Date #4.

Forty-two years old to my 54. Now this actually turned into something, but then I realized he was more into his action figures than he was into me. I should have bolted when I entered Pee-wee’s Playhouse, which was his condo. No joke. Fun, but no.

Date #5.

Looked a bit different than his pictures.

Date #6.

Me: “So your name is Dom?”

Him: “No, I AM a dom.”

Me: Goodbye.

There have been a few more meet and greets, but nothing substantial or worthy of mention.

Before I forget, this is the absolute worst: endless texting and talking with a guy and never meeting. Why? I have come to the conclusion that they are hiding something (like in the show Catfish). I used to think it was insecurity, or maybe they were in a relationship. I like to meet right away so I can rule the person in or out. Regardless, I am not okay with a texting relationship … so feel free to ghost me.

While I know my guy is out there, I just haven’t found him yet. I wish he would look a little bit harder for me. I am hopeful. In fact, I am feeling it for 2020! ♥

Click here to read Newport Life's special report Romance on The Rock: Love and Sex on Aquidneck Island

Sours: https://www.newportri.com/special/20200114/what-i-learned-from-dating-in-newport-two-survivors-tell-all

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